The Hidden Benefits of Making Friends in Back-of-the-Pack Running

Transcript

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Hello and welcome.

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Thank you so much for stopping by.

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You have found the Choose to Endure podcast, which is a show dedicated to the back-of-the-pack runners, where we share stories, interviews, gear and training tips specific to the tail-end heroes of the Ultra universe.

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My name is Richard Gleave.

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I have been running ultra since 2017.

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I've taken on and finished numerous ultra distances, all the way up through 220 miles, and I'm very much a member of the back of the pack posse, just like a lot of you are.

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In this episode, we're going to talk about something different that I don't think too many people are talking about out there, something that can make your ultra running experience even more rewarding and maybe even get you to the finish line of a race, and that is making friends at the back of the pack.

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If you've spent time at the back, you already know it's where the best stories, the strongest camaraderie and some of the most incredible people can be found.

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But starting a conversation mid-race or forging those connections can feel really intimidating at first, especially for somebody who is a bit of an introvert like me.

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So in this episode, I will share some tips that I jotted down for building friendships during races the benefits of connecting with others out on the trail and some stories of how those friendships have enriched my own running journey along the years.

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Whether you're looking for support during tough miles or you just want to make your time on the course a bit more enjoyable, this episode, hopefully, will show you how to turn strangers into trail buddies.

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Let's get going.

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Discover raw, inspiring stories from runners who've been right where you are.

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This is the Choose to Endure Ultra Running Podcast with your host.

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He's English, not Australian, richard Gleave.

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Okay, tip topic strategy number one, whatever you want to call it.

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Why the back of the pack is really perfect for connections.

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It's definitely the ideal place to make friends, unlike the front of the pack, where runners are often hyper-focused on competition.

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The back of the pack, where we're at, it's all about the journey.

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We are out there for hours, as you'll know, sometimes days, pushing through challenges, cheering each other on and driving that shared experience.

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This creates a fairly natural environment for connection to take place.

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When you're back of the pack, it's not unusual to fall into step with someone who's moving along at just your pace for miles and miles at a time.

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And it's those shared moments whether you're laughing about a blister or commiserating over a brutal climb.

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Those are the times that really create a bond and it's really hard to replicate that anywhere else.

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I know I've run many races where I have found myself running alongside another runner for a long stretch during a hot day or through the middle of the night, where both of us or more than one of us at times are.

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We're all struggling.

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But we've started chatting about favorite races, our families, why we love doing ultras, some of the challenges we're having.

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By the time you get to the next aid station we're not just race acquaintances.

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Suddenly we've become friends.

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But strategy number two here making friends during a race can start with those simple conversations.

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But how do you break the ice without feeling awkward in the middle of an event?

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So here are some easy ways to start talking.

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And for some of you extroverts out there, this might be a more natural thing and you're thinking what the heck are we talking about?

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But there are people out there like me who need a bit of help break in that ice.

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So for those folks, maybe here are some thoughts.

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Comment on the moment, share something about the trail or the weather, or the aid station snacks.

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This climb is pretty brutal, isn't it?

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Or those peanut butter sandwiches back there were lifesavers.

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Maybe ask about the race experience.

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A simple is this your first time running this race or maybe how's your day going?

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It can really open the door to a much longer conversation, depending on the answer that you get, from whomever it is you're talking to word.

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You know you're doing great.

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We got this.

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Let me help you.

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Do you need any help?

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Those sorts of things can go a long way to kicking up a conversation and once that conversation starts, just let it flow.

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Naturally.

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You don't have to do something.

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It will come.

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Talk about your favorite race, talk about why you're running or even, as I have done in races, just get into some random life stories.

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Sometimes it's good to talk about those things with somebody totally impartial and get some feedback.

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It's those connections, and sometimes the best connections come from those unexpected topics.

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I know, at 150 miler I did I noticed a runner wearing a shirt from a race I'd done before and I was like, hey, I ran that race last year.

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How do you like it?

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You know that one comment sparked a conversation and that conversation carried us through a bunch of really tough, gnarly uphill miles.

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But what are really the benefits of making friends on the trail.

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It's all right making friends, but surely there are benefits, and there are.

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Having trail buddies out there can make a massive difference, particularly during those harder parts of the race.

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Firstly, on motivation when you're struggling, a friend's encouragement can keep you moving forward.

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Even just knowing somebody is with you can make tough sections feel more manageable.

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Knowing that somebody is going through what you're going through and they seem okay, they're still here.

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We haven't all keeled over and died, it's all good.

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Just being around other people is great.

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And then there's the shared problem solving.

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So, from gear malfunctions to finding the right trail markers if somebody has moved them or an animal has got them, two heads are definitely better than one, especially if you're in the middle of the night and you've got fatigue going on and you're falling asleep.

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Friends can help you navigate challenges you might not be able to tackle alone, and that's why in races, paces can be really helpful for you as well.

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But if you don't have a pacer or the race isn't long enough for a pacer, just pure navigation, two heads always better than one.

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And then the friendships you make on the trail often extend beyond the race.

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Many of my closest ultra friends are people I met during races and we still connect, we still support each other, we're still out on the socials tracking where we're all at, and we still get together and talk about the races, the trauma that we experienced together in our running and beyond that in life.

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During a particularly grueling race with terrible weather, I teamed up with two other runners for the overnight stretch, kept each other motivated, shared snacks, and then, when we got to the finish line, they hung around.

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They were a little before me.

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They hung around and cheered as I came over the finish line, and for me that was a reminder that ultras aren't really just about individual achievement.

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They're about a shared experience, particularly for us at the back of the pack.

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You can share that experience with a crew, you can share it with a pacer, you can share it with your family if they meet you at the start and or finish line, and you can share it with other racers that you are out there on the course with.

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So make sure to make some friends.

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So you've made a connection on the trail.

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Now what?

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How do you turn a race day acquaintance into a more lasting friendship?

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Well, definitely make sure you exchange contact info, if that's available, if you have the opportunity At the end of the race or even after the race in some context.

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If you know the bib number or name of the runner you were chatting with, you can go look them up after the race, ask if they're on social media, ask if they'd like to stay in touch.

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Many runners are happy to connect, send a message after the race, say congratulations, share a photo, a joint selfie or whatever it was you took.

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This can also open the door to future conversations and then maybe you can plan future runs or races.

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Particularly if you hit it off, you could suggest running together again, meeting up at another race if if you guys are both local, shared goals help strengthen the bond that you've created during these races.

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After one race, I reached out to a runner I spent hours with during a particularly rough section.

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We started chatting pretty regularly and eventually we ended up signing up for another race together and that connection has turned into a friendship, and that has lasted for many years, I would say.

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So it really is useful to make an effort to talk to people and make friends at ultra events if they're willing to talk to you.

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Not everybody is willing to talk to you and that's okay, but many are and, if they're willing, definitely take the opportunity to make a new friend.

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Back to those key takeaways.

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Back to those key takeaways.

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Number one back of the pack, natural place for connections, because it really is all about the journey, not the competition, except for those cutoffs.

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Watch those cutoffs.

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Maybe you can join up with your new friend to make it to, and or continue to beat the cutoffs.

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Number two starting a conversation is easier than you think.

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Comment on the moment.

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Ask about a race experience, offer encouragement.

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For some of you you'll be rolling your eyes like this is basic stuff, right, and for others, like me, who's an introvert, I need guidance on how to open up a conversation in the middle of a race.

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Number three trail friendships can provide motivation, support and a sense of community, all of which can carry you through really tough moments and beyond.

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And number four of the suggestions maintain those connections after the race.

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Follow up, stay in touch, maybe plan future adventures together.

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Making friends at the back of the pack isn't just a nice idea.

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It's not just about passing time.

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It's about actively looking to work and build relationships with people of a similar mindset that can enrich your ultra running journey and really, beyond that, your life in general.

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So the next time you're out on the trail and you find yourself running in close proximity to somebody else, don't be afraid to say hello.

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You never know who you might meet.

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If these strategies resonate with you and you're ready to take the next step in a friendship journey of your own, maybe consider keeping the conversation going.

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Do you have a favorite strategy for making a friend out on the trail that you think others should know about or benefit from?

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Maybe something that I haven't discussed here about or benefit from?

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Maybe something that I haven't discussed here?

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Join the conversation and feel free to share in the comments or throw a post on some social media pages.

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While you're out browsing the internet, don't forget to subscribe to the show.

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That way, you get notified each time one of our new episodes drops, and if you haven't had a moment to do so yet, definitely consider hitting follow, rating the show and if you're getting something of value, leave a review and let others know.

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That would mean the world to me for sure, but your support helps grow the podcast.

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It helps connect more runners to this fantastic ultra community that exists out there and spreads the word to those who could benefit from information like this that we're sharing.

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You can find the show here on Instagram and Facebook at Choose to Endure, or visit us anytime at ChooseToEndurecom.

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I would absolutely love to hear from you, whether it's just to say hello, whether you want to share a topic or you have a story of your own to share.

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You can also email me directly at info at ChooseToEndurecom.

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Love getting those emails.

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In fact, interacting with listeners, just like you, is one of my favorite parts of doing this show, so don't be afraid to reach out if that's something you want to do.

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So until next time, run long, run strong, get out there and make a friend on the trail and keep choosing to endure together.

The Hidden Benefits of Making Friends in Back-of-the-Pack Running

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