Transcript
WEBVTT
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Well, hello and welcome again If this happens to be your first time with us.
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
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You are listening to Choose to Endure the show dedicated to the non-elite runners, where we share stories, interviews, gear and training tips specific to the tail end heroes of the Ultra Universe.
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My name is Richard Gleave.
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I have been running Ultras now since 2017.
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I have taken on and finished numerous distances, all the way up through 220 miles, and I am most definitely a member of the back of the pack, just like many of you out there.
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Well, today I am super honored to welcome back an individual who may just have been actually one of the very first guests on the show back in season one Mr Stuart Secker.
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Now, stuart is a seasoned ultra runner from the UK who's tackled some pretty brutal courses across both the US and the UK, where he lives.
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But this time we're not just talking about racing internationally.
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We're going to talk about something a little bit bigger too.
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Eight months ago, stuart was diagnosed with prostate cancer.
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Four months ago, he had surgery and just 10 weeks after resuming training, he completed his 21st 100-mile race at the and I may butcher this name Daufuskie Island 100 in South Carolina.
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Now in the episode, we're going to dive into the physical, mental and emotional journey of diagnosis, recovery and comeback, and what it means to truly endure, not just on the trail but in life.
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It's raw, it's honest conversation and I think every runner, particularly those of us in the back of the pack, can find something meaningful in it.
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So let's go Discover raw, inspiring stories from runners who've been right where you are.
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This is the Choose to Endure Ultra Running Podcast With your host he's English, not Australian Richard Gleave.
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All right, stuart, before we dive into your comeback and the race itself, I just wanted to first of all welcome you to the show again and to take you back to where this journey really began Last year.
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You're diagnosed with prostate cancer and everything changed, from surgery to recovery to rebuilding.
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For listeners who might not know that full story, I think this was a pretty pivotal moment for you.
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Do you remember where you were when you first heard the diagnosis?
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What was that moment like for you?
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Hey Richard, yeah, it was some.
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I guess the kind of the diagnosis was a buildup to it.
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So I have a annual work medical, which I'm really fortunate to have it's not a routine thing here in the uk at all and that pointed out an elevated level of prostate specific antigen, psa.
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We can probably talk a lot about psa, and so off the back of that they said we think you should go and have a scan.
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So I went and had an mri scan and that showed up something that was maybe not quite right.
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Well, it could be nothing could be, um, could be, could be a problem right so you go and have a biopsy and so by the time you get to the kind of the results of the biopsy and, stuart, you've got cancer.
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You've already mentally prepared yourself a little bit because you wouldn't have gone so far on that journey if it wasn't a possibility right right and so when I'm sat there in the consulting room with my urologist and he, he gives me the results of the biopsy.
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It's it's not great news, but it's not a total shock either.
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So I've had a bit of time to get myself ready.
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For what, if that is the answer?
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goodness me so you know, I I wasn't sat there dumbstruck or anything else, it was.
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It was very much okay.
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So what's next?
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What do we do with that?
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And he was really good actually.
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He just said well, the first thing you need to do is go and read a whole bunch of stuff.
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And he gave is go and read a whole bunch of stuff.
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And he gave me a whole bunch of stuff to read and some websites to go look at and then said come back in a week's time and we can have another chat about where we go from here.
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Did you go through kind of a spectrum of emotions, either by yourself at the house or wherever, or did you move straight to what is it I need to do?
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How did you move straight to what?
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What is it I need to do?
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How did you kind of?
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How did it?
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How did you get there?
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I think I I went through that whole bargaining acceptance thing really quickly and it was just very much.
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Okay, this is not great news, right, but but kind of like, what do I do now?
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there's no point in you know I I I probably had more of the kind of the why is this happening to me?
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Thing once after the surgery actually Okay, when I really did get to a point of feeling a bit sorry for myself and I felt very self-indulgent for doing that, because fundamentally I was a good news story.
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My prostate cancer was caught really early.
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It was all contained within the gland.
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Your prostate is an organ that, once you've had kids, you can basically live without.
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It's not like having cancer of the brain or the liver or the pancreas, where you obviously can't live without one of those things.
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So long as it's caught in time.
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I felt one of the lucky ones and so I felt a bit self-indulgent to feel sorry for myself.
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But yeah that is just how I felt, but but at the time it was, it was just kind of okay, here's a um, here's a hurdle, right, what's uh?
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What do we do about it?
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now is that?
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Has that always been your personality or do you feel like like you've done a lot of hundred mile races?
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You know you dnf some.
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You've succeeded in a lot.
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Do you feel like those 100 mile races and what you've gone through in order to learn how to finish those and and deal with the emotional and physical stuff there, did that help you?
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Do you think, or has that just been your personality and your personality has helped you here and on the hundreds?
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my hunch is it's probably the latter.
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I mean, I'd love to think that kind kind of running 100 mile races has made me bulletproof, but kind of you know, I've got the DNF record to show that.
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Ain't true, being in the moment and, uh, being present in the moment and and solving the problem that's right in front of you is probably key to success in in ultra running, like like, like you know, and I think that that definitely helped also yeah deal with the deal with the.
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You know the, the news last summer did you have any warning signs?
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looking back with, with hindsight, do you feel like there was anything there that would have alerted you, physical or otherwise, that something may be off?
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no, not really.
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I mean, men of our age definitely should keep an eye out for for those, for the sorts of symptoms that go with prostate cancer.
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They're they're private symptoms and so people often don't want to talk about them, sometimes don't go and see their doctor when they should, because you know it's basically problems with, you know, kind of going to the toilet or having sex, right.
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So these are things many men don't want to talk about because basically men are rubbish.
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Yeah.
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But, as it happens for me, I didn't have any of those symptoms.
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It was literally a routine medical check that caught it really early, so you had no no kind of prior prior thought.
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Yeah, yeah, and then I and you told me this just before we got on air here.
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So I think we've got to talk about this too, because, having received the diagnosis, you've worked through some of the mental and emotional stuff.
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You're trying to figure out what you're doing here.
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Two weeks prior to surgery, you go and run the Ultra Trail Cape Town 100-mile race.
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Yeah, now, folks, if you don't know much about this race, this is a pretty darn tough race.
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There's, like I want to say, 25,000 feet.
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What is that, stuart?
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It's about kind of 7,500 meters, yeah.
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Yeah, I mean, this is not an easy race.
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And so you have cancer, you haven't gone for the surgery yet, you're still dealing with some of this and you're off running the Ultra Trail Cape Town 100.
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So walk us through that.
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Was that something you had already previously planned, presumably, and you chose to keep doing that, knowing that you had prostate cancer.
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Yeah, I booked it once I'd had the diagnosis, but before I decided that surgery was the right answer for me, wow.
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But when I did reach the decision on surgery, it then became, I think, really a you know kind of.
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I was mindful that it could be a send-off, the surgery.
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You know you're under general anaesthetic.
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Bad stuff can happen and you never know what you're going to find, and so it was not likely, but it was definitely possible, that this would be it for 100 mile races, and so I wanted to really go out with a bang.
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I wanted to do something really special, and there's no doubt that running 100 miler in Cape Town is an incredibly special thing to do.
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I mean, more cities should just have mountains right outside them, yeah Right.
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And literally you go up and down table mountain, I don't know, kind of four or five times, and it's like a 3 000 foot mountain that stretches from the you know, from the ocean, to the to the summit, and the trail is gnarly as hell.
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And you've got I.
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I had to go past a pack of baboons that were literally within touching distance, at the side of the trail kind of, and the baby looked pretty cute, but the daddies looked pretty mean good grief and you know that's that.
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That's that's just what you um that either.
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That's what you deal with on that, on that course and it was, it was a special place to go and it was a special race to do and I I mean it's a hard rock qualifier.
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For a reason, when I crossed that finish line, I was in floods of tears.
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Firstly, I'd put in 44 hours of effort to get to that finish line.
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It was a big old race, but also it was okay.
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So maybe this is my swan song.
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If it is, I've just had an amazing two days.
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Wow, was that on your mind through the race then?
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Or were you able to just focus on the race and then it sort of all hit there at the finish yeah, I didn't really dare to think about finishing until maybe 10 miles from the end.
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you, you know, once I got through the last aid station and had enough time you know, I had something like four hours to do the last 10 miles I thought, okay, I've got this.
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And that was the point at which I started to think about finishing.
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And then what's next?
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Up until that point I was just struggling to make it to the next checkpoint before it closed, and not necessarily because of the cancer, but because, as a hard flipping race, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a damned hard, it's a damned hard race.
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It really really is.
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As I say, it's, it's a hard rock qualifier.
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For a reason it's the only hard rock qualifier on on the african continent and there's a.
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There's a whole festival of races around it and it's a really international field as well.
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I mean, I met a guy from florida who was there to to bag a hard rock qualifier.
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So you know, you've got people flying from all over the world to to run in this on this race, just because it's so wonderful yeah, it's a long way from leatherhead too to uh yeah it's even further from florida.
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To be fair, I'm sure it is, yeah so I just so you mentioned baboons.
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Were there any other like cool animals like what?
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I have the impression that baboons are quite testy, yeah, yeah, I mean, when you've got a pack of baboons and and, um, I know there's like 20 or so of them and you know they're kind of, and you know they're kind of the, as I say, they're kind of the babies were sat on a little wall by the trail and they look pretty cute, but then they're kind of the daddies kind of like sauntered into the middle of the trail and happily I had my poles out at this time so I could just sort of like, kind of like wave my poles in the big guy's faces and they decided that I could probably go past.
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Wow, how big are we talking?
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I have no idea how big a baboon is.
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Yeah, so they ain't gorilla-sized or anything.
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They're probably kind of a bit bigger than chimps.
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They're mean enough and with bad enough teeth Big enough, yeah.
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Especially when there's a pack of them right, if they wanted to take you down, they really could.
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Good grief, wow, I mean there was a.
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There was a kind of a mean looking snake as well, but kind of to americans, that sort of you know man I I've I've run with gators and bison.
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Bison are pretty mean too, especially in calf season.
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Those are massive animals and we're about to go run with some interesting snakes.
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So but never a baboon that's.
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That's a new one to me, so yeah but nonetheless a fantastic job.
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Getting through the ultra trail cape town.
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I would think that's probably a cancer aside for a moment, that's probably a really good sort of destination race to, uh, oh, completely look out for for folks if they're looking for a different environment, some, you know, a change of run.
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Oh, completely yeah.
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So then two weeks later you're in and having surgery.
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Yeah and so so, yeah, how I assume the surgery went well.
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How was the recovery from the surgery?
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Was it slow going and what?
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What was on your mind coming out of that surgery?
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yeah, so, so, um.
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So the surgery, they obviously they remove the prostate.
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The prostate is wrapped around the um urethra.
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That's the, that's the tube that takes uh, goes between the bladder and and the outside world.
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So you've got a.
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Whilst that heals, you've got a catheter in for 10 days.
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That's not pleasant at all.
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And so your mobility is pretty restricted.
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All prostate surgery these days is basically done as robot-assisted oh really, wow.
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So they kind of put these little holes in the side of your stomach and the sort of the robot arms kind of go into to, kind of to do the cutting and stitching together and stuff, and then there's a kind of a probably a two-inch cut right by your belly button, which is where they take the prostate out from.
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And so the most notable thing really, once you're out, apart from the catheter, is that essentially they've just taken a two-inch slice right down the middle of your core.
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And obviously, as runners, we know the importance of the core, right, yeah, but I had no real idea that it was so essential even for sitting upright in a chair with a back and arms Wow.
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Upright in a chair with a with a back and arms wow, and by one two o'clock in the afternoon, I would be in so much discomfort from from that from my core that basically just been ripped, ripped in half for this surgery, that I just have to lie down.
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I mean, there was no, there was no alternative.
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Even even sitting up in bed wasn't really an option.
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I had to lie down and this lasted for a good like four or five weeks of just not able.
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You know I was able to get out and walk as long as I did it in the morning, because by the time the afternoon came it was just too painful to do anything but just basically lie down on the couch and watch box sets.
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Was there any point at all in there where you were thinking, okay, I don't know how I'm ever going to do running again here.
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When does that come back?
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How is that going to come back?
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Did you have a doubt that you would kind of get back to it?
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Did you always expect to come back?
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It was just a matter of time?
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I mean I.
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I talked to my surgeon about it and he said oh, you should be able to start jogging after four weeks.
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My physiotherapist was like no, no, no, no, no, six weeks at the most, ah, so, so so I did decide to err on the side of caution and listen to the listen to the physio.
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Yeah, there are probably a few moments, especially with the castor in, where and where you just thought I don't know the way back from here.
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I was really helped by.
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I chatted to a guy, robin, before surgery.
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He's a, a coaching client of a friend of my coach, okay, and he'd been through the surgery three years before and had gotten back to running the lakeland hundred like six weeks after surgery in an amazing time, and so I thought, okay, is you know, kind of he's a better athlete than I am, but maybe it's possible, right yeah and I had this race to defusky island I think you pronounced it okay in in in the calendar anyways and um, and I thought, okay, that can be my, you know that can, that can be my focus if I, if I take six weeks off running but try and do some aerobic exercise, some walking, maybe sitting on an exercise bike no, actually I didn't do that.
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That's a bad idea, uh.
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But do so, do some, do some walking and maybe do some kind of body weight squats and stuff.
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Then for six weeks and then kind of 10 weeks of running.
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Maybe I can, maybe I can get around it.
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At least I can give it a go.
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I love that attitude and yeah, yeah, I would agree.
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I think sometimes it's just about belief.
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When you hear and talk to someone who's done it, who is in your situation, suddenly you feel like, oh well, it can be done.
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If they can do it, maybe I can do it too.
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And that gives you that push to believe you can.
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So I assume you did your squats and whatnot.
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But what did those first runs feel like, did it?
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Did it feel kind of weird?
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Was there any lasting impact?
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yeah, first, first time I went out, um, I, uh, I, I persuaded my wife to go with me.
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She, she, she does run, but kind of she, she's perfectly happy doing kind of 11, 12 minute mile pace yeah and so, and so it was a.
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It was a.
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I thought this is the best way of me not getting ahead of myself is to go out with her and um, and and it was.
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It was hard, like you'd expect.
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I mean, if you've not, if you've not run for six weeks or not done any exercise at all for six weeks, it's definitely going to be hard to get out and run, even if it's, even if you're just doing three, four miles, and then you've got the surgery piece on top as well.
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But yeah, I found it really tiring.
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I also found bits of my knees and ankles and stuff hurt because they hadn't been used to doing it.
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They haven't been used to doing anything for six, seven weeks.
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So, um, so it was really for me then a question of trying to calibrate my return to running at the at the level of the weakest part, because I feel like you've got so many different parts with running.
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You've got your ankle strength, your knee strength, you've got your kind of your muscles, you've got your aerobic fitness, I've got my core kind of still with a kind of big scar down the middle and you know kind of still injury.
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Surgery is injury, all right.
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So you kind of still got that kind of the wound inside that's healing, and it was about trying to calibrate to the weakest part, not the strongest part right because it would be easy to get ahead of yourself, because you think, oh yeah, my aerobic fitness hasn't dropped off that much.
00:20:02.557 --> 00:20:10.221
I can, I can, I can kind of go and bash out a tempo session and and that would be a very quick way to get injured.
00:20:10.221 --> 00:20:14.393
Yes, so, um, so, so that's um, so, so it was.
00:20:14.393 --> 00:20:14.713
It was.
00:20:14.713 --> 00:20:21.765
It was a really kind of slow and steady buildup in the mileage over those first eight weeks.
00:20:22.490 --> 00:20:25.519
Did you have any fear of sort of pushing too hard?
00:20:25.519 --> 00:20:28.115
I know you mentioned it a little bit there, but just sort of like.
00:20:28.115 --> 00:20:34.390
It seems like you were deliberately being slow in your return, so to speak.
00:20:34.390 --> 00:20:37.199
But was there ever a time where you were like this might be too much?
00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:42.015
speak, but was there ever a time when you were like this might be too much?
00:20:42.015 --> 00:20:46.464
Yeah, the first time I did 20 miles in my post-op and I got to the end and I and I felt rinsed.
00:20:46.464 --> 00:20:53.469
I thought, oh goodness, I don't, I wouldn't really fancy doing another 80 miles at this point oh, welcome to my world.
00:20:53.648 --> 00:20:55.492
Yeah, that's just my.
00:20:55.492 --> 00:20:56.997
My standard that is stew.
00:20:56.997 --> 00:21:00.423
I'm glad you can appreciate where some of us are at.
00:21:01.511 --> 00:21:26.559
but my, my strategy for this race in in in south carolina was always to do run, walk right from the right from the get-go, and so that's what I built into my training and and I tried to build a good level of fueling into my training at that pace as well, and I got to the point where I was confident I would get far enough in that if I had to walk out the rest, I would be okay.
00:21:27.420 --> 00:21:30.343
And walking was okay, like you didn't have a challenge with walking.
00:21:30.403 --> 00:21:33.726
It was really just the running piece that was the challenge at that point.
00:21:33.746 --> 00:21:35.446
Yeah, yeah okay, so then why?
00:21:35.446 --> 00:21:45.632
So we talked about the Daufuskie Island, if that's how we're saying it?
00:21:45.632 --> 00:21:45.932
I don't know.
00:21:45.932 --> 00:21:48.035
You probably know, as people live there probably are able to pronounce that much better than myself.
00:21:48.035 --> 00:21:49.356
Anyway, you had the Daufuskie Island 100 on your calendar.
00:21:49.356 --> 00:21:49.436
Why?
00:21:49.436 --> 00:21:53.623
I mean, that seems like a race that's a long way away from Leatherhead, near London.
00:21:53.623 --> 00:21:57.449
Why that race for your return to running?
00:21:59.133 --> 00:22:00.917
So I DNF'd it 12 months ago.
00:22:00.917 --> 00:22:07.143
Ah, right, right, it was an inaugural race in 2024.
00:22:07.143 --> 00:22:09.756
And I DNF'd it.
00:22:09.756 --> 00:22:14.701
I got to 60 miles and my guts were complete and utter shambles.
00:22:14.701 --> 00:22:17.298
I could barely walk, wow.
00:22:17.990 --> 00:22:27.829
And so, as soon as it opened up, I, um, I, I, I put myself back in for a repeat visit, and this was this is before I had any inkling that I might have cancer.
00:22:27.829 --> 00:22:41.653
And then um, and then when the then, when the diagnosis did come up, and when the, when the surgery became an option and I was starting to think about dates for the surgery, it became obvious this was a, this was a race that I could go back to.
00:22:41.653 --> 00:22:43.759
I didn't need to cancel it.
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:44.140
I could.
00:22:44.140 --> 00:22:48.198
You know that I had enough time to um to recover from this.
00:22:48.198 --> 00:22:50.672
I had enough time, in theory anyway, to recover from the surgery.
00:22:50.672 --> 00:22:58.837
To do was to do the Cape Town race to have the surgery and to then recover from the surgery, to then do, then do the race in in south carolina.
00:22:58.837 --> 00:23:00.260
And so it.
00:23:00.721 --> 00:23:01.471
It went from a.
00:23:01.471 --> 00:23:08.083
I just want to go back and kind of not not leave that dnf on my um on my record to.
00:23:08.083 --> 00:23:09.309
This is the.
00:23:09.309 --> 00:23:21.942
You know, this is going to be the focus point for for me, for for those 10 weeks of, or 16 weeks of, post-op recovery, a triumphant return, almost, and I was so.
00:23:21.942 --> 00:23:22.363
I was so.